My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
cat food counts as protein by the way
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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