Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
