Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
