Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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