a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
