with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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