Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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