marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
