My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
the liver wants what the liver wants
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
