Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
