your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Randomize
