Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
