You smell like stripper and shame
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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