Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
