yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
