wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
