Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My nipple is on Facebook.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
