no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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