I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Mom said you looked used
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Randomize
