I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Welp...herpes.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
