Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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