How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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