You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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