we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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