That's intense
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
