I love black thongs
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
