dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
