Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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