Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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