I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
