Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
