The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
