look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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