He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
