dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
