I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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