i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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