This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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