i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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