my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
