There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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