Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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