Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
