Barsexuality is the new black.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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