When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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