This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
