just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
