the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
