That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
