you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
