The best revenge is premature balding
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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