Duck Duck Cougar?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
